"There is always the promise of freedom wherever you all may roam. Keep the faith and walk the edge."

Friday, October 31, 2008

The people I thought would be there forever have all changed.. The memories I thought I would cherish forever are turning stale.. The place I called home seems strange and unfriendly.. The glitz, the glamour, the lights cannot blind me anymore.. I’m forever changed..

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Burn out…

I’m tired. I’ve been living out of suitcases for more than 2 years now. What seemed to be fun and exciting isn’t so anymore and I can’t help wonder if my rapid aging has had something to do with it. Lately, a lot has been changing. The weekend parties seem just about ok. The movie count has been dwindling big time! I have close to 1700 minutes rolled over from previous months on my phone (I have the most basic plan possible). Early dinners and a stroll seem better than pre-gaming. Teensie weensies trying to test their capacities in clubs and throwing up isn’t even fun to watch anymore. The music has changed from pop to rock to lounge/house now. The comforter and pillow are my new best friends. The idea of ending up alone doesn’t seem foreign anymore; of course the idea of being with only one person is still the scarier option. The thought of “How will everything ever work out?!” is constantly on my mind. Whatever happened to all the fun and craziness?

Maybe if I sleep, it’ll all go away…

Why do I always get caught up in stupid situations?

This morning, I decided to take an earlier bus to get to work early (one of those crazy early morning decisions!). With my hair still disheveled from last night’s incomplete slumber, I threw on an oversized brown sweater and jeans and ran to catch the bus. Normally when I have music blaring into my ears, I’m untroubled by conversations; however today, by some stupid twist of fate, I noticed that the driver was trying to talk to me. As always, I played the good listener, listened to his early morning blues (or at least pretended to), smiled and continued to sleep with my eyes open. 15 minutes and a random conversation later (which involved him telling me how it’s nice to have music on the bus amongst other dull commuters), I reached my stop. He mouthed the words “I like you” and handed me a brown note with his name and number hastily scribbled over it as I walked out. Caught off guard (plus it was 6:30 a.m!), I just stopped for a moment, stared at the note in my hand and walked out.

Later, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had spurred him on into doing that. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and frown next time?

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Word Clouds

So Wordle has this interesting tool that picks out the words you use most frequently and puts them in a word cloud form to show you what you're subconsciously thinking of (I think that's what it does :S) And the word that stands out for me is.. ALWAYS.. Hmmm..

Go figure!

PS: It also allows you to choose the colors and formatting style for the kind of cloud you want to generate.. Somehow the ones with the words in a crossword like manner just did not appeal to me.. I wonder if that has anything to do with my OCD for organizing??

Monday, August 4, 2008


Do check out the video at the end of this post. I know it's long but it's awesome. And if you're short on time, skip it to 4:10 and watch :)

My first major gig ever.. And it was soooooo awesome.. COLDPLAY!! And of course the Section 1 front row seats helped a little too :) (right next to the side stage where the band played later on!).. But besides all that, it was something I haven't done in a long long time.. Just let loose.. Scream.. Not give a damn about anything.. I didn't even realize till the concert that I had actually missed out on rock for so long (2+ years?)! It was a perfect perfect end to a rather imperfect work week (I zoned out for the first time ever during my major presentation :-/ )

However, I would have enjoyed the concert a lot more if I had a few of my “own” people there with me.. Just so that we could re-live it again and again and.. Oh well.. So in no particular order - my “Wish you were here” people - my parents (they would think it’s too loud but they’re extremely hug-able), Big B Shabby (whose wedding is going to be the main topic for a lot of the upcoming posts), Nithin (for being there for me for the whole of last year and not even knowing it), Uday (strange friends are the best kinds :P) and Sayli & Neha (missed you both like crazy, even though you guys are not interested in Coldplay).

Anyway.. I don’t think I’ve ever woke up on a Monday morning with such a huge smile and so thankful for everyone/everything I have.. And it just took a little over 2 hours to re-align my perspective.. :)

Coldplay - Verizon Center, Washington DC, Aug 03, 2008



Life In Technicolor
Violet Hill -- Nithin (cause I was on the phone with you!)
In My Place
Viva La Vida
Fix You -- Shabby :) :) and Uday
Strawberry Swing
Chinese Sleep Chant (Side stage)
God Put A Smile Upon Your Face (Side stage/techno version)
Square One
The Hardest Part (Partial) -- Shabby
The Scientist (Side Stage - Acoustic) -- Sayli and Neha
Death Will Never Conquer (Side stage - Acoustic - Will)
Let's Talk (Video)


Lovers In Japan -- Nithin
Death And All His Friends
The Escapist


Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ethical and Social Dilemmas...

A friend of mine just got laid off after being on his job for less than two weeks. We went to college together. Sure, he wasn't the brightest of the lot but he's street smart and I thought he'd do great after he finished Grad School. So I was a little shocked (and sad) that he was asked to quit so soon.

I felt like I should help him out in whatever way I could. And since I had a network of people who were in a similar field of work, I asked him to pass on his resume. When I reviewed his resume, I realized he had fabricated most of it - his work experience, his college activities... they were blatant lies! Suddenly, I did not feel so sorry about him losing his job.

Yes, I know what you are thinking. Everybody exaggerates on their resume. No biggie! Well, sadly I belong to that small teensie class of losers who never cheated on exams, believed that doing the homework was actually beneficial blah blah... you get my drift. I never liked people who always talked big but would have nothing to account for it (I'm not implying my friend is one of them).

Anyway point being, I did not want to help him out anymore. I felt it was like tarnishing my own reputation by propagating someone else's lie. What if he was lying about everything else on his resume too? Would I want to refer someone when I wasn't sure myself of his work abilities - just because he's a friend?

And then comes the social dilemma. He's been a great friend for 6 long years now and has really helped me out (or at least tried to) quite a few times. And for me to judge him based on this seems petty. But somehow I just cannot bring myself to doing it. Maybe if I souped up my otherwise plain resume, I'd feel less strongly about it? Or maybe I should just pass it on and hope that other people see through the fakeness.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A New Beginning??

So how much has changed over the last year?? A new continent.. A new life.. The escape I always wanted.. The fresh start I always dreamed of.. Yet now all I want is the old familiar places.. The old faces.. The ones I found too boring now actually seem like the comfort zone I want to get to.. So what is this?? Some sort of weird "the grass is always greener on the other side" phase, where all I do is pine for what I don't have?? Where does it all end?? Does it end??

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Another day.. Another week.. The same life.. Another weekend.. The same thing.. People drinking.. People wasted.. Late night bootie calls.. Sunday lunch.. Sunday night.. Sleep tight.. Another day.. Another week.. The same life..